Pace Oddity

Sometimes it’s amazing how fast time goes by. It’s like life has started rushing by like it’s trying to break a land-speed record and I’m scared it’s going to pass me by and I’m going to miss it.

How is it possible that we’re coming up to Jade Rachel & I’s first wedding anniversary? I still remember the first moment I saw her and that was six years ago now. SIX YEARS.
Note to self: what are you going to do to celebrate this?

How is it possible that Regan is 18 this year. 18, driving, (hopefully) leaving home and going to university. And Caden Bryce is 5. I was there when he was born, this tiny little wrinkled baby and he’s now this exuberant 5 year old who loves cars and monkeys and lego and counting.

I feel like I blinked and half a decade has gone by. I remember how long the six-week school holidays felt as a child, stretching out into this foreverness of freedom. And now it’s almost March – weren’t we just celebrating Christmas?

Can we please slow time down a little so I don’t miss anything?

Advertisements

Pat On The Back

I’m relatively certain that a lot of people who read this blog also read my step-daughter Regan‘s blog and will have already heard the news but I feel the need to write a proud mother post. Because Regan, my sweet baby girl, has been accepted into her first choice university. Providing she gets the exam results she’s predicted – and she’s predicted higher than she needs – she will be leaving us in the Autumn, and moving almost as far away from us as is possible and still actually be on the mainland UK. From London to Aberdeen. Hope she’s got her thermals and electric blanket packed!

I am a little sad at that, at the thought of her leaving the nest but at the same time, I am so so SO proud of what she’s achieved.

The last couple of years haven’t been easy for her. Her mum died, Jade Rachel had a breakdown and Regan ended up living with her father. Not that living with her dad was at all a bad situation just completely different to everything she’d experienced at that point. It took Jade Rachel a couple of years to pull herself back together, get back to London, regain custody of Regan. And then Regan had to cope with moving a couple of times while they found the right house.

And then there was me. It cannot have been easy for her to have me come into her life, to have her other mum falling in love with someone else. Neither Jade Rachel or I will ever replace Regan’s mum Shaine, and nor would we want to. We make sure she’s still part of Regan’s life, as much as we can. Regan also had to cope with not being an only child anymore and having this baby, then toddler, around.

She didn’t only cope, she excelled and she blossomed. I have had such a pleasure watching her grow from a smart tween to this intense young woman. Have I mentioned I’m really fucking proud of her?

From small beginnings come great things

I can certainly see how writers, how anyone who writes, could get Writer’s Block. I have discovered, upon opening up this ‘add new post’ page that sitting staring at a blank white screen with a flashing cursor is in fact quite foreboding. Maybe its the expanse of white, I’m not quite sure but I’ve certainly never had that same heart-clenching feeling when working on graphics.

Facing your fear of the unknown, it’s such a rush. Especially when you dive in head first.

Which is what I’m attempting to do here.
My first first blog entry on my very first personal website.
How thrilling.
I feel like I should be 14, not 40. Surely I’m too old to be doing something like blogging?
Apparently not, since here I am. Blogging. Running a webpage.
Well, attempting to.

None of the sub-pages actually exist yet, more than having a ‘coming soon’ sign. They are coming soon, I am working on them, a page at a time. Once again, there’s that white page with that angry flashing cursor and not having the faintest idea what to put on them. Although I’m relatively sure all the pages are self explanatory and one can usually work out what to expect to find on a page about ‘concerts’, or ‘film reviews’, or ‘graphics’.

It’s mostly the ‘about me’ page that’s stumping me.
A bit like actual content for this first blog.
Where to start? What to say?

I’m guessing at the beginning is a good place to start, and possibly with an introduction.
The basics, the important points are all listed over there in the sidebar but lets see if I can’t expand upon some of them. Starting with…

My name is Erin.
Technically, it’s Éireann but I use the Anglicised version for ease. I’m not Irish, I have no Irish blood in me at all but I have parents who adore Gaelic names. And you don’t get much more Gaelic than a name that simply means Ireland. I’ve never even been to Ireland, which is something I do intend on rectifying. I live in East London, I’ve lived in East London my entire life and I’ve no doubt I shall probably die here. And yes, I’m a Cockney. A living, breathing, born in the sound of the bow bells Cockney but, along with netspeak, you’ll never hear me use Cockney Slang unless I’m taking the piss. It was one of those things my father used to spank out of me and my brother. Cockney Rhyming Slang, that is, not netspeak. That hadn’t been invented when I was young enough for my father to still put over his knee!

I mentioned my brother there. He’s one of the people I have no doubt I will mention many times when blogging as he’s one of the people I’m closest to… and you don’t get much closer than being twins! His name is Brody – another Gaelic name, meaning ditch. I’ve been trying to lose him in one for the last 30 years but he keeps on coming back In a way, it’s wonderful. He’s my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime. Other times, there’s nothing worse than someone knowing what you’re thinking, whos always there.

I think I’ve said enough for my first post. And it’s given me pause to thought about what else I’m going to talk about as well. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. If you’re still here, thank you!